Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Something a bit random

Exercise: Tuesday 30 Min on exercise bike + Weights, today Boxing class

Training is humming along with nothing to noteworthy happening (apart form the fact I have exceptionally sore legs from boxing class – figure that one out)

Let me set up this story by saying I do not have any children (I do have cat who is like child but that is a whole other topic)

A couple of months ago my wife and I had just been out for dinner where we had a touch too much wine. Being responsible adults we thought it best to wait for half an hour or so before driving home

Luckily as my wifes mum (Joyce) lived close by we decided to drop in for a quick cup of tea. In a further slice of luck she was not home……… (Sorry Joyce - those of you who know me that I love my mother in law)

As we sat down to enjoy a steaming fresh cup of green tea Jacqui and I heard a panicked woman shouting

“Joyce…Joyceare you home???”

Suddenly a woman popped her head over the fence. After quickly registering that we were not Joyce the woman asked

“is Joyce home?”

I managed to reply that Joyce was not home

The front gate opened with a bang and a heavily pregnant women barrelled her way into the front court yard. In a panicked voice, whilst clutching her swollen stomach, she shouted

“I need to get the hospital NOW

If anything is going to sober you up quickly it is the sight of a extremely pregnant women grabbing her stomach asking you for help

After figuring out which hospital to go to (thankfully it was just down the road) and wedging the pregnant woman struggled into our two door car (have you ever tried to get a pregnant women in / out of bucket seats) we drove to the hospital. After I had dropped her off at the front door and parked the car it hit me

I had no idea what her name was, and no idea what I was meant to do.

I walked sheepishly up to the reception area of the hospital and said

“Hi, I just dropped off my mother in laws neighbour from two doors down. Is she okay?”

The receptionist seemed to have an understanding of what I was talking and said

“go on up to the birthing suite”

Nothing strikes fear into a childless person’s heart like “Go on up to the birthing suite”

I went up a couple of levels to the birthing suite and started looking around for the neighbour. I was soon found by a nurse who ushered me into one of the birthing suites.

Now I always thought that the first baby’s heart beat I would hear would be my own. Alas this was not the case as when I walked into the room my mother in laws neighbour from two doors down was hooked up to the ultrasound machine having her baby scanned.

Luckily the baby was okay and a lull in action allowed me to introduce myself to my mother in laws next door neighbour from two dorrs down. After a couple of minutes the doctor said

“now I am going to have to check if you are dilated”

I have never moved from a room quicker.

While I was in the waiting room I saw another man and a 4 year old child. He looked at me in the eye and proceeded to give me a slow nod of the head, like he was welcoming me to father hood. Talk about awkward….

What could I do? I could not say I am a fraud who is just here to drop off my mother in laws next door neighbour from 2 doors down.

All I could do was nod my head slowly as if I was saying yes I know I am happy to be a father

Luckily soon after that her husband turned up and I was off the hook!



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