Friday, December 28, 2007
I am not an overly religious, Jewish raised, balding, 30 year old wanna be tri-athlete. As you can understand Christmas did not play a large part in my life until I meet my wife 13 years ago. I like to think of myself as being 13 years old this Christmas (as I have only celebrated it 13 times) going through that tough teenage view of Christmas
My experiences of Christmas lead me to believe that it is almost like every Jewish festival – you get together with family and eat too much food. All that said my family / friends have been exceptionally generous this year. Here is a list of some of the things I was given………..see if you can you spot a theme
Bell for my bike
New pair of swimmers (some more lycra) that are also bike pants
One question I have to ask is
Why does the date of Easter move every year but Christmas stays the same?
Cheers (and Merry Merry)
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Last week I became an Uncle for the third time. I know I am biased but I have the most perfect nieces / nephew. The only problem with having such awesome kids in the family is that it puts a lot of pressure on J and I to produce a good un…here’s hoping if we have a baby it look’s like J!
While I did not exercise on the weekend I did go shopping for some more gear. My current helmet is old, borrowed and sits on my head like a top hat. I found a couple of helmets in my price range and decided to try them on. The geniuses at Rebel (I know what am I doing going to Rebel for bike gear…I was just looking okay…) had no mirrors in the helmet section
Have you ever tried to try on new helmets without a mirror?
Being a resourceful lad I decided to take a photo of myself with my phone. I lined up the angles and pressed the button just at the same time as one of the perky young assistants came up to help me.
The look on his face as my phone made the “camera noise” was one of fear and amazement
Once again I looked like a freak….
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
If you own a home (or in my case a 2 bedroom unit) in Sydney you have to be on a budget. It goes without saying that when you are on a budget you need to make certain choices on how you spend money.
I was presented with one of those choices last weekend. I was heading up to the Hunter Valley to watch Lionel Ritchie and was faced with the dilemma
Spend money on accommodation or on wine?
Then again I do not think it is much of a dilemma wine V accommodation (wine will always win out)
As a result we were staying just outside of Cessnock. Now Cessnock is famous for a couple of things
Entry Point to the Hunter Valley Wine Country
Cessnock Correctional Facility i.e. Jail
After an especially indulgent Friday I thought it would be a good idea to go for a slow jog. As I settled into my slow Cliff Young shuffle I was asked not once, not twice but three times where the Cessnock Jail was. So I either I
Look like a local (and if you have hung out in Cessnock you will understand why this is an insult – then again I was a touch hung over so would fit right in)
Look like I have been in Jail
I think I need to rethink my exercise apparel as I must look like a Bogan who has just been released from jail…..
PS Yes that was a picture of my ass last week
Thursday, December 6, 2007
They say you never forget how to ride a bike. Well let’s just say my memory was a bit hazy this morning. I woke up at 5am this morning, threw on some lycra, strapped on my helmet and got on the new(ish) bike
I had better stop for a second talk a little about the bike pants.
They have padding.
If you add up the Speedo’s and padded lycra shorts there goes what dignity I had left. To finish it i just need to start shaving my legs
So I get on my bike this morning and start to ride. In the past I have always ridden mountain bikes with big thick hummer style tires. Now I was on a road bike with very thin tyres. After a few shaky moments I was off and peddling.
I got all the way up to the hardest gear and thrashed at it for a minute or two then decide to turn back home and lower the gear. Here’s the thing the gears did not move and I had to ride back home on the highest gear
Hello sore ass cheek.
On a side note I am not training this weekend - off to the hunter valley to Lionel Ritchie…..
Friday, November 30, 2007
I finally have myself a bike.
An Avanti Monza road bike – and it looks pretty s hot!
It is sitting at work begging to be taken out for a ride. The only problem is that my ass muscle is still too sore. Luckily my wife is an acupuncturist and has been helping me out. The other day I was in a fair bit of pain and J offered to give me a treatment. After the treatment I felt significantly better, so much so that I felt the need to rave about it to my team
Let me set this up by saying I have a very informal relationship with my team (there are plenty of times I think I am just a little bit to David Brent)
“My bum feels a lot better today it must have been from last night when J put some needles into it”
When I took a closer look at my staff, who had horrified looks on their faces, it dawned on me
Bum Cheek. Bum Cheek. Bum and Cheek, do not just say bum without the cheek
On the weekend I am going lycra shopping. Should be interesting….
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
If nothing else I am an innovator. A forward thinker who is constantly looking for new ways to get injured.
Last week I decided to do a bit of cross training. I was hoping to wear my legs out to recreate the jelly legs feeling you experience (apparently) going from bike to run. I worked out and was feeling fine – slightly jelly but fine. The next day I felt a little bit sore in yet another delicate spot. Not the groin this time but the ass check. Normal smart people would have rested for a couple of days, then eased their way back into it
Not this camper. I went boxing yesterday and managed to strain the life out of it (which caused my back to seize up)
So now I have tweaked my groin and strained my buttock.
In other news it looks I will be picking up my bike tomorrow! An Avanti moza Road bike……
Now I just need to sort out my ass so I can go riding!
Friday, November 23, 2007
I am big supporter of Movember. Anything that raises mental health awareness has to be good. I wanted to participate, and being a hirsute man I would have grown quite an impressive Mo.
When I mentioned this to my wife (who puts up with a hell of a lot…….like me and this whole triathlon thing) she said that she would donate what ever I thought I could raise to if I did not grow a tash. So whilst I am not actively participating I am a supporter. The other night I meet a friend for a drink during which one of his mates popped in. I quickly noticed he had a nice mo going on. I believe anyone who grows a mo deserves a little bit of credit.
I looked at him, gave a slight smile and said “Movember Hey?’
He looked and me with a blank look. Now because I am an idiot I said again “Movember Hey?” only to be faced with another blank look
Suddenly it dawned on me – he was a guy in his mid to late 20’s growing a Mo for no other reason than he thinks its looks good……
Also when I was swimming this mornings I saw a person do lap after lap swimming backwards using a kick board and flippers
Monday, November 19, 2007
I am starting to realise what a significant investment in equipment a triathlon is (simple Simon me is just understanding that you need good equipment for all three legs..)
As per the “Ultimate Training guide” (a mag for Tri People...) I need
Sunscreen - Check I am bald man!
A wetsuit - I have a pair of faded speedo’s
Spare Swim Cap - You need two? I do not even have one
Race Singlet - Does a wife beater count?
Goggles - Check
Bright Towel- If everyone has a bright towel then how does your towel stand out? I am going for a beige towel
Baby Oil - Apparently this is for getting in and out of your wetsuit (and no I do not have any)
Vaseline - I am starting to think I might be reading the wrong kind of list
Bike - Maybe by the end of this week?
Bike - Shoes What do you think?
Bike - Pump I have a foot pump does that count?
Helmet - Check (long story but I do have a helmet..)
Baby Powder - No chance
Running Shoes - I have an old pair which are in desperate need of an upgrade
Sunglasses - Do Aviator sunnys count?
Hat - Check
Spare Safety Pins - I am starting to wonder if this is a tri or a new born child? I mean Baby powder? Safety Pins? Whats next nappies?
Toilet Paper - Now I am scared
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Exercise: Monday: Boxing Class, Tuesday (700 Metre Swim 21 Minutes) Today Circuit and Boxing Class
I have finally cracked.
Normally I swim in
1. Big baggy board shorts (the kind with bright floral patterns on them)
2. Speedo’s under them
3. Grey sleeveless rash vest
4. Clear goggles
5. Bright Orange ear plugs
Basically I look like a freak who is only missing floaties and one of those inflatable rings around their hips
Tuesday was another cold and windy morning. I must have still been sleeping but I thought it would be a good idea to go for a swim in Speedo’s sans board shorts. This was the first time I had worn speeds since I was 6 (I am now 30…)
After getting over the shock of diving into a pool wearing a lot less I have to admit I am a convert……how much easier is it to swim in speeds? Sure it looks awful but it makes a huge difference. I promise until I get old and fat I will not wear them to the beach.
In completely unrelated news I might have to change the title of my Blog. I have received my first sponsorship which might allow me to buy some form of bike (is it sponsorship if your dad gives you money?)
“I did not even have bike”
Monday, November 12, 2007
Every car park has a number 1 spot; it is the spot that is right next door, closest you can get to the entrance that is not a disabled spot.
Sunday was another cold drizzle morning – the kind of day where only idiots (me) and serious swimmers (one day me) go for a swim. As I sat in may car pondering why
I was up at 6:30am on a Sunday morning
I was swimming in the rain…again
I saw two people racing too then getting into an argument over the number 1 car spot at the pool (the argument was along the lines of “I was here first’ versus “No I was”). It was not like there was not a heap of spots around – some almost as close. As I watched the carry on a thought hit me
You are at the pool to exercise. If you are upset at having to walk an extra 10 metres from your car maybe you do not have the right attitude
In land mark occasion when I was doing laps another swimmer offered to swim before them as, and I quote
“You would be too fast for me”
Admittedly she was 70 and wearing a frilly pink swimming cap but it was still an achievement!
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Training is humming along with nothing to noteworthy happening (apart form the fact I have exceptionally sore legs from boxing class – figure that one out)
Let me set up this story by saying I do not have any children (I do have cat who is like child but that is a whole other topic)
A couple of months ago my wife and I had just been out for dinner where we had a touch too much wine. Being responsible adults we thought it best to wait for half an hour or so before driving home
Luckily as my wifes mum (Joyce) lived close by we decided to drop in for a quick cup of tea. In a further slice of luck she was not home……… (Sorry Joyce - those of you who know me that I love my mother in law)
As we sat down to enjoy a steaming fresh cup of green tea Jacqui and I heard a panicked woman shouting
“Joyce…Joyceare you home???”
Suddenly a woman popped her head over the fence. After quickly registering that we were not Joyce the woman asked
“is Joyce home?”
I managed to reply that Joyce was not home
The front gate opened with a bang and a heavily pregnant women barrelled her way into the front court yard. In a panicked voice, whilst clutching her swollen stomach, she shouted
“I need to get the hospital NOW”
If anything is going to sober you up quickly it is the sight of a extremely pregnant women grabbing her stomach asking you for help
After figuring out which hospital to go to (thankfully it was just down the road) and wedging the pregnant woman struggled into our two door car (have you ever tried to get a pregnant women in / out of bucket seats) we drove to the hospital. After I had dropped her off at the front door and parked the car it hit me
I had no idea what her name was, and no idea what I was meant to do.
I walked sheepishly up to the reception area of the hospital and said
“Hi, I just dropped off my mother in laws neighbour from two doors down. Is she okay?”
The receptionist seemed to have an understanding of what I was talking and said
“go on up to the birthing suite”
Nothing strikes fear into a childless person’s heart like “Go on up to the birthing suite”
I went up a couple of levels to the birthing suite and started looking around for the neighbour. I was soon found by a nurse who ushered me into one of the birthing suites.
Now I always thought that the first baby’s heart beat I would hear would be my own. Alas this was not the case as when I walked into the room my mother in laws neighbour from two doors down was hooked up to the ultrasound machine having her baby scanned.
Luckily the baby was okay and a lull in action allowed me to introduce myself to my mother in laws next door neighbour from two dorrs down. After a couple of minutes the doctor said
“now I am going to have to check if you are dilated”
I have never moved from a room quicker.
While I was in the waiting room I saw another man and a 4 year old child. He looked at me in the eye and proceeded to give me a slow nod of the head, like he was welcoming me to father hood. Talk about awkward….
What could I do? I could not say I am a fraud who is just here to drop off my mother in laws next door neighbour from 2 doors down.
All I could do was nod my head slowly as if I was saying yes I know I am happy to be a father
Luckily soon after that her husband turned up and I was off the hook!
Monday, November 5, 2007
After pretty much eating my body weight in chocolate on Saturday (I had some Mrs Fields cookies and brownies, a “few” M & M’s and a couple of violet crumbles) then paying for it the next day…you know when you can still taste chocolate the following day….I have decided to cut out the chocolate, lollies and cakes for 30 days
That’s right no bad stuff for 30 days! It is time to get the mind in tune for what the body is going to do. It is going to be a challenge – I would kill for something sweet now!
I am also going to try out a new swimming program tomorrow.
Wish me luck!
Friday, November 2, 2007
In a slight setback I have suffered my first minor injury from training. As you can imagine from someone who has undergone 3 knee operations I have more than a slight predisposition towards getting injured.
After my swim on Tuesday I have pulled up with a slightly sore groin muscle
That’s right a sore groin from swimming…..
What the hell am I doing in the pool? I think I need to get to a swim class fast
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
What is the saying? Prior preparation prevents pXXX poor performance?
Well I need to pay more attention to my preparation. From the moment I woke today up my training was a farce. Lowlights were
I forgot to put anything on my feet when I went to the pool (Strike 1)
I forgot to bring a towel (Strike 2)
I failed to put my ear plugs in properly. Hello blocked ear after one lap (Strike 3)
I forgot to bring any food to work (Strike 4 – Can you tell I am Australian without a thorough grasp of baseball)
If I am going to do this thing I need to get these things right - any ideas apart from getting organised?
Friday, October 26, 2007
Today I went for a swim in the rain. Funny thing is the pool was pretty dead with about half the people normally there on a Friday
Were people afraid of getting wet?
On a random note I watched "so you think you can dance" last night – man those people can move! If I had my time again maybe less football and more dancing growing up
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
In my swim today I was hit 4 times by other swimmers (twice on the legs, twice on the arms)
It is not like I swim that fast I just appear out of no where.
I am kind of like a truck on a freeway – you can see me in the distance and you know you are going to have to over take me. The tough part is that I am in the slow lane, there are not a lot of places left for me to go!
Back to the fun and splash lane for me....
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
…..when you turn up to a boxing class only to be paired up with someone who brings their own gloves (and is massive - i am about five foot 10 / 11 and 73 kilo's this guy is over 6 foot and must be at least 100 K's!). I knew I was in trouble when he crouched down displaying perfect technique stalking me around the gym.
He beat seven shades of you know what out of me.
My only hope was to wait until he got tired to try and get some revenge….considering I can not punch to save my life you can guess the result
Monday, October 22, 2007
I am not sure where I sit on this one. I think cricket can be great exercise if you are good at it however I suck. I scored 4 runs and took 1 wicket…in z grade
At least my swim was better
But in all not a great weekend of exercise although I am very sore today and not looking forward to boxing
Friday, October 19, 2007
Due to a lack of bike I have decided to focus on swimming. Where I swim there are four “zones” to swim in. There is the
Fast Area: Pretty much dudes in speedo’s and serious women belting up and down the pool
Medium: Almost the same but everyone seems to be hairier
Slow: My New Home
Fun and Splash: This is where I started – it used to be just me and the 7 year olds learning to swim.
Today I was thrashing my way down the slow lane when I felt someone lurking behind me, then overtaking – it was an old man swimming with flippers!
Whats up with that? Why not strap an outboard motor to your back? Whats the point of swimming with flippers? Especially in the slow lane!
Anyone have any ideas???
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Exercise Today: 30 min jog with 20 sets of stair sprints
I have a couple of confessions
1. I am bald
2. I have competed in a sprint triathlon previously (this was VERY short)
There are 3 benefits to being a bald man.
1. Doing your hair takes next to no time
2. No bad hair days
3. People assume you are a good swimmer
Imagine how upset I was during my previous triathlon to find out swimming cap’s were compulsory
I wonder if I will have to wear one again
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
I am a moderately fit 30 year old married man who works for a marketing company
In a moment of male bravado (clouded by red wine) I committed to doing an Ironman Triathlon within the next two years
For those of you who do not know an Ironman consists of
3.8 Kilometre Swim
180 Kilometre Bike Ride
42K Kilometre Run
Sounds tough hey……..my problem is that at the moment
I can not swim past 100 metres without stopping (or hanging onto the lane rope..)
I do not own a bike
I have had two knee reconstructions as well an arthroscopy
So why am I doing it?
For a couple of reasons
- To raise money for Beyond Blue and Youth off the Streets
- I grew up watching the Hawaiian Ironman (think Greg Welch etc) and have always dreamed of doing one
I am hoping this blog will help to keep me motivated and help raise some money (feel free to give me some tips...)
Wish me Luck!